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»Ending patriarchal violence will not work by further disempowering of men but by nourishing the essence of male power…«

Ilan Stephani

 

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»Yes, our culture punishes men for being unsensitive. But it punishes them even more for being sensitive…«

Ilan Stephani

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Are men doing better in patriarchy than women?

I am a woman. So there are many reasons why living in this culture is pretty complicated…

Among myriads of other factors, the sexual double-standard messages, with which women are bombarded, automatically lead to more question marks and fears around intimacy then to sexual highlights.

Being a woman in a patriarchal culture is a confusing thing…

And how are men doing?

Unfortunately not better.

Already little boys are denied that men have a good sexuality. Men, as our culture is telling and educating, are dangerous beings whose power needs to be tamed and restrained. It’s best not to become a “real” man.

In other words: The sexual cultural trauma of men is to be a chronic perpetrator – a walking biological problem. 

Being a man in a patriarchal culture is a confusing thing…

While men are training to better not feel themselves, they are asked to remain sensitive lovers, to be present – while their entire conditioning is deflection. Independent and strong – while the environment creates dependency.

Men should be confident – while their conditioning denies that there is anything essential in them that they can be really proud about.

Men should be powerful – in a culture that negates that masculine power is trustworthy. 

Such collective distortion is no less brutal or perfidious as that which women are subjugated to. It just works a bit different.

Men are not allowed to feel. And because of that – they are not even allowed to suffer.

“How am I meant to be sexually? What is my sexual design – what really corresponds to how I am? What is my sexual essence in all these confusing conditionings?”

Because we become not enough if any answers to this – we even forget the question.

No wonder that an embodiment of masculine self-love is so rare in this country that it almost does not exist at all.

The tragic about it … all this mess is so completely unnecessary. It grounds on a misunderstanding. It is just a rat tail of a bad mood… that somehow infected this confused and confusing era of mankind.

Here is the misunderstanding:

Sexual energy is not the problem but the solution. Sexual energy does only turn into something problematic when we mistrust it, critizite it, deflect or repress it.

Can we unlearn this global distrust, confusion and repression? Can we recover our access to our sexual essence amidst these cultural messages and role modeling?

We can move and heal our individual sexual issues as an expression of our collective wounds. Because the Individual and the Collective are not separate. It becomes a felt experience, how dissolving “personal blockages” automatically creates a larger field of freedom that concerns more then “sex”, and gifts our partners as well as ourselves and every part of our life.

 

#SexAndEssence is a modern somatic path exclusively for men. Dedicated to un-learning sexual conditioning and re-claiming the innate sexual essence, power and freedom.

 

#SexAndEssence is currently offered in English and German, as an intense retreat or Somatic Online Journey and as a year-long-training about 4×4.5 days, being held nearby Berlin, Germany.

You find the current dates HERE. For further information contact us directly and stay in touch via newsletter (sign up below).